Breast Cancer is the most common cancer among women today worldwide. 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in their lifetime. A portion of each sale is donated to research and awareness for breast cancer. Each time you wear your bracelet you are symbolizing awareness and dedication to find more effective cancer treatments and ultimately one day soon a cure.
FREE shipping on all orders till 10/31/12
I am a mother of four teenagers. Autism Spectrum disorder has been a large part of my life since the birth of my children. I have dedicated myself to raising awareness and advocating for my children, which is where my inspiration to create the “Ray of Hope” collection originated from. A portion of the proceeds from the Ray of Hope collection are donated to various organizations serving the Autism Community.
My eighteen-year-old daughter Taylor has worked her way through a PDD NOS diagnosis with determination and hard work. She is a high school senior and will graduate with a Regents diploma, (something I didn’t accomplish). Watching her become a young woman is amazing. Outgoing, funny, kind and at times wise beyond her years. In her free time Taylor enjoys art, music, movies, shopping, cooking, and spending time with friends. I knew the day would come when she discovered boys and so another chapter begins. Taylor is planning to attend college after graduation. I have no doubt whatever she sets her mind to, she will accomplish.
For more about Taylor, visit her page.
Taylor ‘s Junior Prom ~
Carter has successfully waded his way thru puberty with laughter and tears shed by all. Today Carter is 16 at 6 2″ and 288 lbs. and a smile that is contagious. determination was the key when the school district deemed him uneducable. My mission was to keep him home with his family, easier said than done. The sacrifices were endless but the payoff is something you could never put a price tag on. When anxiety gets the best of him we do see aggressive behavior. This is not the part they show on TV, but it’s reality when living with a teenager on the spectrum. In the past there have been years that were extremely difficult. The most heart wrenching and difficult times were the two hospital visits in 2007 which required leaving Carter at the hospital behind locked doors. I didn’t know where else to turn or how to help him. Puberty and autism are not a fun mix! For three years I was literally doing nothing but fighting with the school, school district, outside agencies, advocating and praying I got thru the day. Carter’s behaviors were totally out of control. It was so sad to see him like a prisoner in his own body. We all had strength we never imagined. The lack of assistance within the systems was overwhelming to say the least. What I found astounding were the number of paid professionals who lacked empathy and efficiency. I am happy to say that today after letters, hours and hours on the phone, meetings, doctor appointments and sleepless nights Carter is shinning like the star he is. I don’t know what the future will bring. We just keep working to help him reach his full potential. One day, sometimes one minute at a time. Being his mother can be at times the most challenging, yet most rewarding job. He warms my heart each day.
Carter making his favorite breakfast ~ Pancakes
Jesse has always looked after Carter. Not easy for a child to try and rationalize like a grown up. He does a fantastic job always there in a situation if someone isn’t treating his brother right. Don’t get me wrong we still have sibling rivalry at home. Being the youngest in a family touched by autism isn’t easy. It seems everyone else gets extra attention, therapy, supports etc. When I need an extra pair of hands teaching a jewelry making class Jesse is always there to help (for $20 bucks). Auto mechanics have been an area Jesse has shown an interest in, spending hours working alongside his father tearing down and rebuilding engines. He’s has a knack for understanding how things work and many times makes repairs around the house. If we want something assembled Jess is the one we call. He’s a natural athlete with a love for basketball. Known for his amazing rebounds, always there to catch that ball no matter what it takes. A real team player who puts his heart into every game. In his free time Jess enjoys swimming, basketball, computer games, eating bacon cheeseburgers and driving his go-cart.
Jesse ~ Driving his go cart!
Christian came into my life three years ago when I met his father. Since our first meeting I knew he had great potential to grow. As a teenager who faces many challenges emotionally, developmentally and academically life can be a challenge. He has an unbelieveable memory (when it suits him). He is loving and generous and loves to help out. We have a special bond based on respect and trust. It is never easy parenting a teenager but patience, kindness, understanding and a will to succeed make all things possible. Christian is learning to be independent. I will continue to nurture his confidence along the way.
After years of trials in my journey I am blessed to have the most wonderful man in my life. If you asked a few years ago where I would be in the future I wouldn’t have dreamed I’d have a “new life” as my son Carter says. The story unfolds……….. When timing was the worst it could have been (My home was in foreclosure. I was struggling with where to go from there) I met a guy I went to school with who I hadn’t seen in 30 years! While catching up he told me, his friend Eric (who was talking to my friend) had a child with special needs and was going thru a very challenging time. As I looked at Eric from across the room I could see in his eyes that he was exhausted, overwhelmed, out of solutions and hope for what would happen next. Having been in this situation myself just a year and a half prior I couldn’t sit back and do nothing when I knew what he was going thru. Like myself a single parent, trying to hold down a job while meeting the demands of parenting a child with special needs. After speaking with Eric I knew I had not other option than to help him. A few days later I called him and we set a date to meet. Together we began to make changes for Christian’s life plan. While in the process a friendship blossomed into a romance which is now a marriage! One day at a time Eric and I will face the challenges and celebrate the joys of life together. Wishes do come true!
My optimism regarding Autism was not always present. There are no words to describe the feeling you get when you are isloated, helpless, and overburdened. At the onset I was completely overwhelmed, scared, confused and angry. I soon realized that in order to help my children, I would need to put my feelings aside and become proactive. My life took a different path than the one I‘d dreamed of. Through it all I have gained patience, strength, faith and a new sense of purpose. The pride I feel cannot be seen or measured, it is felt in my heart each day when I look at my children and all they have accomplished.
It has been my experience that an intense ABA program of 40 hours weekly (more if you can find a way) by “TRAINED” and experienced therapists will provide the opportunity for a child to reach their full potential. As a parent you must get educated; know your rights and ADVOCATE. I was told when my children were babies “What you do or don’t do at the onset will affect their future”. I urge you to face this head on. Yes, it’s overwhelming however, your choice is to let fear take over, that will not help your child, your family or you. There is no guarantee what level your child will reach or which therapies will bring progress. Don’t look back stay connected, involved, question everthing that doesn’t seem right and ADVOCATE!
I have found that parents who have walked in my shoes are the BEST support. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have my “MOAC’s” (Moms of Autistic Children). We share ups and downs along with some wine and chocolate, whatever the situation calls for. Always there to listen and understand. Thank you for your unconditional friendship, loyalty and support.
The MOAC’s ~ Maribel, Karin, Jill & Tracey
My experience has taught me that while professionals (DAN doctors, neurologists, therapists, teachers, BCBA’s, developmental pediatricians and psychologists) can give recommendations, prescriptions, referrals, diagnosis, set up a program or a diet, a parent who has walked the same path can offer the kind of guidance the love of a child, not a medical or educational degree can offer. A mother’s perspective is one derived from maternal instinct, fierce primal protective nature, the emotional growth that comes with the overwhelming responsibility of caring for, teaching, advocating for your child in a situation where there is so much uncertainty, no clear answers and no real guideline. A mother’s perspective is not to be underestimated. It’s the type of advice molded by the implementation of protocol, trial and error, ingenious innovation, time, and an intense vested interest in the outcome for a child, that a parent who has been there can break down into an easy to follow ready made social story for the parent just starting out.
So, while the doctor/therapist /teacher and BCBA can tell you what to do, a mom can tell you how it feels, sympathize with you and then share her back up plans. Nothing helps more than the sharing of ideas, inspirations, recipes, doctor information, knowledge, and above all, that basic support that only those who live what you live have to offer, they “get it”.
To all the heart-broken parents whose lives have been touched by autism and other overwhelming circumstances regarding their children. We need to stay strong for the sake of our children. If we don’t lead their journey who will?
I am not the only one whose cloud had a silver lining, you must believe there is always a Ray of Hope!
Seems like I’m making a career of assuming the responsibility for other people’s jobs (ya know the ones who’d rather Face book, text, IM or talk on their cell phones instead of actually doing what they are paid to do, WTH). When there are no consequences involved many people take full advantage, as has been proven over and over again. All parents these days have crazy busy schedules, to do lists, want to do lists and things we’ll never get to do lists.
Parenting children with special needs takes busy to a whole new level. In addition to being a mom, we need to keep on track of CSEs, IEPs, data, behavior plans, team meetings, parent training, therapist schedules, appropriate staffing for my children, doctor appointments, program entitlements, social security, Medicaid paperwork, medication issues and research. Speaking from experience, this never-ending, overwhelming way of life is one that maybe……. wonder woman could be expected to accomplish while maintaining her sanity and composure.
If I were paid for these tasks I wouldn’t have to worry about looking for a job to help my family get ahead in this economy. How many people do you deal with who are inefficient and incompetent on a daily basis? I have lost count and given up holding people accountable, it seems incompetence is at epidemic proportions in the world I live in.
This lovely looking, professionally dressed woman represents the majority attitude of people I depend on to assist me with the issues that encompass raising children with special needs. I am known for questioning everyone and their superiors when situations don’t make sense, of course this hasn’t won me much popularity. Luckily for me popularity has no importance. I ensure the job gets done correctly no matter what it entails. My children will have what they are entitled to regardless of the fact that I have to take on the responsibility of others. Why………… because I do give a shit!
Not a sugar person
Just married
For the past few days I was getting ready for today ~ Wholefoods Farmer/Artisan Market from 11 to 4, hoping to showcase my jewels and sell some too! I received an email around 8:10 from Wholefoods cancelling today’s venue due to the after effects of Irene. Well thank you very much Irene!
I come out from my bedroom to greet my step son and give him a breifing of the daily change of plans and what he needs to do to earn his electronics today. He is clearly not radiating sunshine this morning, after a few tries of communication I go back in my room, text Eric and ask him to please speak with him.
I then sit and think where do I start? Shower, laundry, clean the house, errands, make jewelry, take Tay driving, PO, phone calls, paperwork, newsletter, blog or runaway? It’s just too much and I can’t find a comfortable place to start, the sun is shinning the birds are chirping and all I want to do is go back to sleep, not an option.
I take a look at my “to do list” and see there’s much to be done . I regroup and sit down to work on my monthly newsletter (a little late, oh well) to find “Constant Contact” won’t allow me to log in…………after trying several times I decide to write a letter, thinking that is easier anyway. Hah wrong! The printer won’t print my letter.
Obviously this day is not going to go according to my plan. Oh it’s the phone my friend Jeanette, time for a break. Who knows what I will do after this phone call…………………………………..
My new hubby (our 1 week anniversary is today! LOL) and I went to see a show Saturday night when Irene was supposed to hit. At 10:30 we came out and it was raining, all the preparation for this? We went to bed around 1:30am, just when we thought it was all good lights went out…………………and came back on,we can sleeep in peace. When we woke up power was out, but not much damage at all thankfully.
There were things to be done about the place so, Eric cleaned up outside while I straightened the house, after that we were both feeling lazy. I decided a nap was in order. Eric wanted to know when we would eat dinner, “after my nap” I replied. I napped for a bit, woke up decided to light my e candle and read a book that had been waiting for me for some time, it wasn’t about behavior mod, advocacy or self help for once. Eric came in to wake me as we had planned and found me reading. He wanted to know when dinner would be (we still had no power) ugh, I thought, the last thing I felt like doing was cooking. I suggested waiting a bit more to have dinner, that was fine with him (he’s good like that). He went back downstairs. Ahhhhhh now where was I? I lay there in the candlelight reading and listening to the trees swaying in the wind, so peaceful the air smelled so clean. I could have forgotten all about dinner entirely (I had peanut m&m’s if I got hungry) and wished Eric would do the same, one can hope and fool oneself if they like, right?
Duty calls, just as I was walking down the stairs the lights came back on! Perfect timing, I laughed to myself. My tranquility a thing of the past so wonderful to have had it if only for a short time.
I heated the oil, dipped the chicken in the homemade beer batter and fried till there was no more frying to be done. Although prepared to fry by candlelight I was thankful for the light. I haven’t made fried chicken in years, it turned out delicious!
After eating, cleaning up and checking in on my Facebook friends I went back to my book, this time I read by the bedside light, able to see much clearer but, not in the same place as reading by candlelight………………………. that is what memories are made of.
Who’d have ever guessed at 49 I would be getting remarried and have a new life (Carter’s favorite phrase), certainly not me! However dreams do come true tomorrow I will marry the man (Eric) who helps me keep it all together. For the first time in my life I have someone to take care of me when I am too busy taking care of everyone else. A person who loves me for making him a home and giving him what all men want good food and sex whenever he wants it. Speaking of food I need to get to the kitchen to make his breakfast (he’s sleeping). We are starting our honeymoon early this is not an everyday occurance, usually I’m the one sleeping. Off I go for now……………….stay tuned for the real deal as it unfolds in my new life!
I’d like to share with you stories of hope and humor. Having children with special needs is not what I planned on but, hey who’s plans ever go accordingly anyway? Why is life forever screwing with me? There is so much I had wanted to do and be, ugh whatever we all have our own stuff to deal with, welcome to mine!
Autism ~ The Real Deal 